I wanted it bad for us baby
by MissFourthOfJuly
Summary: On her way to New York, Rachel has a lot of time to think. And the only person she finds herself thinking about is Blaine. Blainchel. Set after 3x22


**I should have seen it coming when roses died**

**Should have seen the end of summer in your eyes**

**I should have listened when you said good night**

**You really meant good bye**

After that heartbreaking farewell at the train station, Rachel had the whole trip from Lima to New York to think about it. Think about how her life was changing for good and that there was no turning back.

She had stopped being that school girl and became an adult abruptly. One second she was going to marry Finn Hudson, the love of her life, and live with him in Lima for one more year, along with her best friend Kurt and his dear boyfriend Blaine. But then, the next thing she knew was that she was going to live in New York, attend to the greatest Dramatic Arts academy and that she was going to chase her dreams.

No wonder why Blaine had been acting in such a weird way when they had spent some time together the day before her departure.

_Blaine and Rachel were laying on Rachel's bed, just eating some popcorn while listening to some music. Kurt had left early, insisting that he was too tired and really needed some rest. Rachel didn't have the heart to beg him to stay, because she knew very well how he was aching. It'd already happened to her when she choked on her audition. For days she couldn't sleep, eat or even think properly. _

_She assumed Blaine would accompany Kurt home, since he was obviously concerned about him. But it surprised her when he ended up staying with her, stating that they had bearly spent any time together just the two of them since the musical. _

_Rachel truly enjoyed those moments with him, because Blaine was a very easy person to be around with. He made things easy, let her forget about the drama for a while. _

_They were talking non-stop, though Rachel noticed as time went by that Blaine had a sad look upon his face, and she also sensed his glare on her whenever she wasn't looking back at him. _

_"Are you okay, Blaine? You seem a little... off. Is something bothering you? Is it about Kurt?" she sat in her bed, legs crossed as she faced him. He looked back for a moment before he looked up again. _

_"No, it's not about him". After a few seconds, as if realising what he'd just said, he added quickly "Of course I'm worried about him, but... In a very selfish way, I'm actually happy. I don't know what he's going to do now, but anything seems like a better option than New York. At least until we go there all together" he smiled at her. _

_"I kind of understand you. I mean, I know New York is my destiny and my future, but right now I'm more excited that we'll get to be there next year, the four of us together". His smiled seemed a little too forced, but Rachel decided not to think about it. She was probably just imagining things. _

_"You're...so special Rachel. You know that, right?" he said. His face was heartbroken. It was like he meant to tell her something else but he could just come up with this. _

_She could only smile sweetly. "Thank you, Blaine. You're one of—no, you're the best person in my life". He leant forward to embrace her in a big, tender hug. "And for the record, I'm not just saying that because you're the best performer I've ever had the chance to sing a duet with". That made them both laugh. _

_They spent some more time talking, remembering old times. Their date at the Revival Theatre, when they dressed up as the characters of Love Story, came easily into the conversation. _

_They were playing back the good times, some tiny, little part of them wanting to go back then. Rachel would never admit it to anyone, not even to herself, but she would have liked to know what being with Blaine Anderson would've been like. _

_How, if Kurt hadn't been in the picture, maybe they could've been something more. _

_But that thought was just so wrong Rachel couldn't afford to think like that. _

_It was getting late, although neither of them had noticed. _

_"Under normal circumstances, I'd gladly ask you to stay for dinner. But I'm afraid my good manners are no excuse tonight. It's my last meal with my parents as a single lady, and I would like to spend it with them. I hope you understand" she said. _

_She truly wanted him to stay. They hadn't been like this in a long time, and she was enjoying herself. She wanted him to be by her side for a little longer. The next day, she would be a married woman, and being like this with another man wouldn't be acceptable, not even when he had declared himself 100% gay. _

_But it was time to say goodbye. His face changed. It wasn't exactly the expression he was hoping for: he looked kind of devastated. _

_"It's fine, Blaine. I'm getting married, but I'm not going anywhere!" his eyes turned one shade darker, as if he was fighting back the tears. She felt him tense._

_He seemed to be trying to find the words, but again, he couldn't. It was getting kind of akward, a too tense situation. _

_"Blaine, I'm going to be okay" she said in a very soft tone. _

_"I know you are" and then he hugged her, closer than he ever had. As if he didn't want to let her go. _

_"I love you, Maria" he said. It came as a surprise to her. He had never said those three words to her: it was kind of an expected feeling between two close friends, but those words had never been said (besides from the play). And she loved the sound of them in his voice, when they were adressed to her and not to Kurt. _

_"I love you too, Tony. My Tony" she remarked, because it wasn't the first time she had told him how happy she was that he was her Tony. There was no one better. _

_He placed a hand and caressed her cheek for only an instant and then he left so quickly she couldn't tell the moment he walked out the door._

Rachel stopped crying. He had known. That day, he already knew she was leaving.

He wanted to warn her.

That she was indeed moving to New York.

That it wouldn't be the four of them together, because Finn didn't have plans of moving there any time soon.

That she wasn't going to get married that day.

That Finn was going to break her heart (or, as he had said, set her free).

Blaine had known. And he had wanted that last moment to last forever just as much as she had.

He was saying goodbye for good, not a "see you later".

Too many words had been left unsaid. And that_ I love you _were the only three Blaine had felt the courage to say out loud.

* * *

**Hello! :) My other stories are forgotten, I know, but I just got the inspiration for this one and I had to write it! **

**It's a Blainchel fic, my true OTP. It kinda follows (or at least I use the lyrics) of one of my favorite Bon Jovi's songs, called "This ain't a love song". **

**I hope you guys liked it! And I apologize for any writing and/or spelling mistakes (I'm Spanish and English isn't my first language). **

**Thanks for reading! **

**-C**


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